In this article it is my intention to give you 3 actionable steps to finding your ideal therapist. Success in therapy relies more on your connection with the therapist than anything else. If you trust the person leading you, successfully completing therapy is in your grasp. 

“I’ve tried therapy before and it does not work”

My new client was burnt out from trying therapy after going through several different therapist and was on the brink of giving up.

She called her first therapist a jerk because he was so aggressive in his confrontations. Her second therapist was a quack because she wanted to do arts and crafts instead of talking about the issue.  

She got to the place where she thought, “Maybe I’m not the kind of person that can benefit from therapy.”

Personally, I believe that no person is unreachable and there is no problem that cannot be fixed.

Anything is possible if you have the right system to fix it.

When it comes to therapy the most important part of the system is the right therapist.

That aggressive therapist might have been perfect for a person that does better when they are pushed. The arts and crafts therapist might be perfect for a person that struggles to find words and process better through experiential activities.

If you find the right therapist, you win. You will get better!

Read on to learn the 3 steps to finding your ideal therapist.

But first, some important things to note:

1. Connection is everything

I mean that. Decades of research has proven that the fundamental factor in successful therapy is the therapeutic alliance between the client and the therapist.

So you want to enjoy therapy and benefit fully from it? You have to find someone that you connect with.

Forget therapeutic approaches, the #1 one concern should be, “How well do I connect with this therapist?” The # 2 concern should be, “How motivated am I to do the necessary work?”

2. Everything works, nothing doesn’t

You will never get better if you do nothing differently. It does not work to stand still because, in life, standing still is moving backwards.

Which therapy model is best? Truth be told: They are all the same.

It depends on who you are as an individual, some models may work better for you than others. So prioritize connecting with your therapist first, then research therapy models.

Don’t go crazy here. There are some therapy models that are legit insane. And there are people out there labeling themselves as “counselors” that have no business working with people. Here is a helpful website that will help you discern the evidence based practices of different models (main focus on children).

3. You have the right to fire your therapist

One of the things that keep people back from engaging therapy is the fear that I will be roped into it forever.

I personally believe the goal of therapy is to eventually fire the therapist. If therapy is successful, you will eventually fire the therapist.

Moreover, if you have a therapist that you are not connecting with –  fire them! The sooner you find the right connection the better off you will be.

3 Actionable Steps to Finding Your Ideal Therapist:

1.Collect a List

• Go to Psychology Today
• Search by location (You will not be motivated to go to therapy if the therapist is out of your way.)
• Narrow Down the search by the factors that are most important to you
• Faith
• Language
• Ages
• Sexuality
• Gender
• Do Not Search by Insurance, Issues, Types of therapy. (Why? Because, we will talk about how to finance your therapy below and on the next article. Also, the therapist often work to serve a specific niche but most therapist can deal with most common issues.)
• Scroll through the profiles on your now narrowed down list. Next to each picture there is a two line blurb.
• If the therapist is talking about themselves, move on
• If the therapist is speaking to you then open up their profile on a separate tab

*This is important because the key to a strong therapeutic alliance is the ability of the therapist to understand you. If you can already find a therapist that understands your needs, then you are well on your way to finding your ideal therapist.

• Scan their profile and if they are a good fit put them on your list
• Try to have 3-7 therapist on your short list
• Try not to pay attention to finances yet, many therapist have discount rate options (we will talk about this later)

2. Stalk your top choices and learn their voices

• Open up their websites
• Is their website present, is it nice? A well thought out website might be an indicator of how this therapist prioritizes their customer service.
• Check out their social media, blog post, videos and podcasts?
• Are they talking your language?
• Can you connect with their work and items they are posting?
• Can you understand them?

  3. Call them for a quick chat 

• Most therapist offer a free consultation session. Take advantage of this offer.
• Tell them about your issues and see if they present a clear plan on how it will be addressed in therapy.
• Talking about money
• Good therapist are worth their weight in gold. The value will be reflected in the length, effectiveness and durability of their work with you. So don’t be afraid to pay them their asking price. Value them and you will receive that value back in therapy.
• If funds are limited asked for the following options
• Insurance options
• Sliding scale options
• Ask for the possibility of a lower price in exchange for coming in during a time that is harder to schedule
• Ask if you can pay a discounted rate for 3 sessions and reassess to pay the normal
• Ask if you can pay a discounted rate if you purchase a package of sessions at one time (i.e. purchasing 8 sessions in the beginning)

*A note about google reviews: Searching reviews on a product that you are purchasing online is a very beneficial tool you have at your disposal.

It is beneficial here too, BUT code of ethics forbids clinicians from soliciting reviews from clients in order to protect confidentiality.  

So if you find reviews that is awesome, it means that 1. The client was so impacted that they went out of their way to give that review or 2. The review was submitted by an associate or peer of that therapist. If there are no reviews, it doesn’t mean that the therapist is illegitimate.

Remember though that good reviews may mean that the therapist was good for the reviewers, it doesn’t mean they will be good for you.

 I hope this article was helpful in helping you find your ideal therapist. I’ve given you 3 actionable steps to finding your ideal therapist. Success in therapy relies on your connection with the therapist then anything else. If you trust the person leading you, successfully completing therapy is in your grasp.