4 Practical Ways to Reconnect With Your Partner After Having a Baby
By Emily Graham is the creator of Mighty Moms.
How to Reconnect With Your Partner
Studies show that a kind of domino effect occurs due to the presence of a baby in a couple’s life after the birth. The couple has less time to spend together, which means they are not that intimate as before. This, in turn, often leads to frequent fights, which finds both of them less happy. An excellent idea is to connect with an experienced counselor like Eddie of AP Family Counseling to help you navigate this new reality. On the other hand, here are a few simple and practical ways that can help you reconnect with your partner after having a baby.
Approach Conflict Gently
It’s rather easy to blow up at each other when you are exhausted and at your wits’ end. If you’re quick to accuse and be harsh with your words, blaming and insulting your partner, they are prone to attack you back or shut down. Rather than allowing conflict to sprout, steer clear of the negative emotions and use ‘I’ statements. Speak of the current situation, not about something that happened a long time ago. Raising disagreements rationally and calmly will allow you to solve the issues and productively find common ground.
Schedule Time Together
One of the significant challenges facing new parents is finding some time to be together, uninterrupted. It may appear impossible, but try to find time each day to talk, cuddle, or just watch a favorite movie. This will bring a bit of normalcy back into your lives, helping you feel like you’re still part of a couple.
Intimacy Is Critical
Another significant change occurs in intimacy and sexual satisfaction. It is also possible that the passion that might have existed between the two of you before the baby arrived may not seem possible or realistic anymore. Because of exhaustion, less time, and new provocations, intimacy can be challenging, so it is even more important to appreciate the little moments you can have with your partner.
Being intentional or mindful about hugging or kissing before work may not be the same as spending a few hours together, but the act and the sentiment behind it can go a long way between date nights. A written note, flirtatious text messages, or flirty yet functional clothing can help boost the mood and inspire and maintain some of the playfulness that can be so easy to forfeit after a baby.
Engage in Self-Care Together
Relationships do change after having a baby in the picture, and there’s no way around that. The excitement and joy that come with being a new parent usually surpass the frustration or disappointment. Still, the tension in the relationship that generally comes up under this extra stress cannot be swept under the rug. The focus on the baby should add and not take away from the relationship that proceeded it — nurturing the new member of the family is vitally important.
Still, it isn’t selfish to also take care of yourself. Good parents aren’t the ones who sacrifice themselves entirely for their child, but rather, ones who are aware and understand that they cannot pour from an empty cup. As such, work to tend to your own needs while also taking care of your child to be able to offer the very best for your little one.
Rekindle the Passion
You can’t always have it all, but you can take care of both your baby and your relationship by adopting a few strategies. Following these tips can help you reconnect with your partner and bring back that spark you’ve had while also enjoying the time spent with your little one.
Emily Graham is the creator of Mighty Moms. She believes being a mom is one of the hardest jobs around and wanted to create a support system for moms from all walks of life. On her site, she offers a wide range of info tailored for busy moms — from how to reduce stress to creative ways to spend time together as a family.
